take your time

it takes time to hear your body speak
it takes time to make your choice
it takes time to heal your wounds
it takes time to come to terms with your decision
it takes time to accept yourself
it takes time to find your way back into your body
it takes time to love yourself again
it takes time...

My Pesonal Statement

 

Religion was created by men for them to have power to control in the name of God. Through the history more people suffered from religious causes than benefited from them, especially women. To this day religion is used by white supremacists, who infested our government, to create laws that dictate us, women, what to do with our own bodies.

 

I had to face the consequences of such system few years ago. I just turned 33, I'm in long term relationship and my partner and I both want to have children in the near future. I have never been pregnant before and the news of it came abruptly and unexpectedly. The bottom line for me was the fact that if we'd choose to proceed with it at that time of our life, I would have to postpone my education indefinitely, in the end meaning abandoning my own self, my desire to grow and learn the profession I could truly enjoy and provide for my family with.

 

Besides dealing with the stress of making the decision I found out that my federal insurance did not cover medical abortion because it is rendered to be a "selective procedure". So while I worked for that government for 7 years it did not support me in this already on its own heartbreaking experience.

 

This project is the third one I've done in my process of healing and recovery and hopefully is a culminative one. Here I attempt to express the emotional process of it, the open ocean of grief and sadness that enveloped me and carried over half a year period. There's no proper education of young girls that wouldn't shame such choice. The base line in our society is the notion of tabooing abortion and not giving a voice to women who went through it. My work is the voice that I chose to give to myself and hopefully it could empower others to do the same in their own way.

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process: first the audio piece was created: played, sang, recorded and edited into one. the video was envisioned after multiple playbacks of the sound and recorded with the help of my partner, Ivan, and edited all together into unity.